ive done a little bit of writing, so heres most of my best/worst
As I lay in a digital field,
staring without eyes at a digital sky
nothing in particular catches my eye
such is life
deep in this web of the metaverse,
an incomplete collection of everything.
An everything so "everything" that it
is in fact nothing at all.
Soon I will rise,
not to an occasion or purpose higher than normal
but to simply wander over to my corner
with no walls,
and ponder out aloud.
Yelling at a whisper.
Whispering back to silence.
I am not alone, here,
though i would retain what I've known
for the most part
had I left
I stare at the digital sun.
It stares back.
the peeling paint on a shattered window frame,
snowflakes drafting onto an unlit floor.
Sounds of a hundred thousand pounds of steel,
Meters from a third story.
vomit, chuck, throw your guts up
expel what did not feel your way
colors blotted,
chunky, rancid
stew and sauce and sinew.
brush your teeth, your throat, stomach asophagus and liver.
sour taste and sour smell
on the bathroom floor
insides concave,
compatriots recoil
get well soon
lay down drink well,
covered in this mess, we'll clean you too.
Darling spinifex,
Stand aloft the grass
We'll be good to each other
I understand your thorns -
Burn twice as bright for thrice as long.
to one friend. i am glad you are here. somebody thought we'd be closer but im sure that was not meant to be. where you are now seems strange to me on the outside, and i hope someone closer to you has your back.
to another friend. it has been a long time. too long. maybe long enough. we mightnt even speak again at this rate. but if youre out there i would like a moment to see how you are.
to more friends. it hasnt been long. i look up to you so much. without you the place we are in would not be the place it is, and the places people will be are to be forever bettered by your efforts. perhaps one day we can share just another moment as friends, intertwining interests.
to another friend. its been a second, how so im not sure, but perhaps i should speak more than i seem to. i hope to remind you of my prescence and willing to stay friends. we grow older but hopefully not apart
to a friend that can not read. its been quite some time. the days in which you havent been here are growing more. i never got to truly come to terms with your leave. might i always remember you.
to family. i will keep going. one setback never got the best of me. my many victories are to be shared with you. i wish i could share how much i appreciate you all.
to blood. its been a world apart. we appear to have treaded down similar paths, yet i hope your resources find you a way to your goals. im proud of you.
to my dearly beloveds. the world is splitting into pieces. but we'll always see each other on the other side of the rock. i know youre doing well and i meet your eyes for brief moments, but there will be the day where finally we lay rest at our echelon.
ive never needed to draw my own blood
perhaps i was too scared
scared that id bleed to death
scared of the repercussions of the mark left behind
maybe i was too tired
thinking depressive thoughts in the night
too tired to unsheath the blade
id definetely considered it
id learned how to deconstruct a pencil sharpener
it might not have ever been enough
its my nature to have an injury somewhere
my scar collection is many stories of missteps
but many of my youthful thoughts were a step to my death
even if not every mis-step was my own fault
i never needed to draw my own blood
i gained a fascination with it anyway
in the eroticism of it all
all the thoughts of bruising and cutting
and if it could all be a sick fantasy
at its darkest apex a depraved teenager
dealing with his trauma
to a twisted god of strewn bodies
i never drew blood
my blood was drawn for me
I inherently do not respect you.
I am only servient to your demands because I am a coward.
You do not deserve your resources.
You do not deserve your authority.
by the by, this is more about train cops than police station cops
I respect public transport drivers.
They do work I cannot even begin to acknowledge.
Their cheerful greetings, helpful comments, general friendly demeanor
it really does brighten my morning.
the moment you "prescribed officers" in your high-vis step onto a train.
every passenger visibly sighs.
my smile to you is a farce.
i'd lie harder weren't i a coward,
but you people can be such assholes.
i know people scared to take the train because of you.
and what does that do, do you think?
more people getting rides in someone's car
and if you target a class so heavily
one that needs public electric transportation more than ever,
it's my opinion you're detrimental to the ecosystem.
funnily enough, you guys are kinda shit at this thing too.
by the time you start your check at one stop
anyone who noticed just took the interruption to their day
and spends their time between trains.
it's my belief that public transport should be free.
funnily enough again, your machines aren't all that great.
the only thing stopping the people who might need the train the most
is a wall of death at your most fortified terminal.
I think the disenfranchised and homeless should be able to freely take any piece of public transport they like
i think the renovations on your station would be a lot better without you.
I think the system shouldn't be owned by a company, but the people,
I think cops shouldn't be on trains.
elainar.
el (left)
ain (around)
ar (right).
(used for crossing the street)
phone, wallet, keys.
(a checklist so I do not forget anything. keys also includes "key items")
I am the hottest person alive, and I need therapy
(self explanatory)
If nobody saw it, it didnt happen.
(double edged. no witness-no event, other hand, if nobody sees what you've made, can you say you've made it?)
I am normal
(false positive, only used when realising im in an obsessive spiral)
I am the best at x
(self destructive, used when minorly inconvenienced by a setback)
I have never died
(self explanatory)
 |
leaving
platonic longing chance clinging fingers over eyes embarassed shaking interlocking crush lazy eye intrusive thought the need to cough hyperfocus anxiety stitch hunger shivering euphoria obsession venting care support the self music recieving support intertwining giving support video game disk 2 rare card |
oh hath i come to realisation
for i am not alone
i used the wrong recipe
and tasted a flavor i was not meant to have
forthwith did my tongue taste lingering lips
in the end we baked the right good
i was learning to be friends
after having not made any for so long
i will always be here
to stand guard
to stay still
to support friends
i am normal again
in the morning
the shadows crawl down my walls
and onto my skin
they bite me when they reach my face
and tear my eyelids open
ruining every dream
html
I have consumed myself
shale and crust, detritus
I shall let you consume me
meat and fluid, ingredients.
last edited 21:37 ADST 2024-02Feb-01 probably
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